The Cruelty Culture

There was a time when cruelty was something people tried to hide. Today, it often goes viral.

A stranger's worst moment can become entertainment for millions. Someone makes a mistake, says the wrong thing, looks different, struggles publicly — and within hours, they can become the target of worldwide ridicule.

Technology did not create cruelty. Human beings have always been capable of enjoying another person's humiliation.

But technology has amplified that instinct. The internet allows us to react to people without seeing their faces. Without knowing their stories. Without remembering their humanity.

A person becomes a symbol. A joke. A target.

Earlier this year, Kristi Noem's husband — a private citizen who never sought public life and holds no office — was outed over an embarrassing personal fetish. He became fodder for late-night sketches and viral mockery. Whatever one thinks of Noem's politics, he didn't earn that. The joke wasn't accountability. It was pleasure in someone else's humiliation.

The same pattern appears in politics. It is no longer enough to disagree. Increasingly, people want opponents embarrassed, defeated, and humiliated. The suffering itself becomes part of the reward.

It's not only individuals who get this treatment. Some people take the same pleasure in humiliating entire countries. When U.S. forces rescued a downed pilot from Iran, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth didn't stop at celebrating the rescue — he emphasized that Iran had been “humiliated.” Not that the mission succeeded. Not that lives were saved. Not that humiliation was a strategic objective. That an adversary was shamed.

Ask why humiliation needed to be the headline, and the honest answer is: it didn't. It just felt good to say.

That should concern us. Because the way we treat people we disagree with reveals more about our values than the way we treat people we already like.

Compassion is easy when someone is on our side. The real test is whether we can recognize humanity in someone who is not on our side.

This does not mean eliminating consequences. Accountability matters. People who harm others should be held responsible.

But there is a difference between accountability and enjoyment of someone else's pain. A society that celebrates cruelty eventually changes what it expects from its leaders.

We stop asking: Who demonstrates wisdom? Who shows restraint? Who treats people with dignity?

Instead, we ask: Who fights hardest? Who humiliates our enemies? Who gives us permission to stop caring?

History teaches that dehumanization rarely arrives all at once. It grows slowly. Through jokes. Through language. Through the belief that some people deserve basic respect and others do not.

The health of a society is measured not only by its wealth or power. It is measured by what behavior it rewards. Kindness is not weakness. Empathy is not surrender.

How we treat each other is not separate from who we are. It is the clearest expression of who we are.